Thursday, May 27, 2010

Signs and Symptoms of MH

The first sign of the life long condition called Motherhood (MH) is usually the little understood condition Baby Fever (BF), though not always present BF can be a good indication that MH will become fully active shortly. It is worth noting that Fatherhood (FH) is symptomatically very similar to it's counterpart MH, the most noticeable difference between the two is the inital physical aspect of MH is conspicuously absent in FH.

The gestation period of MH is about 9 months and once contracted will stay with a woman until death. At the end of the gestation period there is a rather painful process that ushers a woman into the first truly active phase of MH. This process can vary in length from a few hours to a few days and intensity of pain is highly subjective, some women have very little while others experience much more, regardless of these variables this period is nearly always marked by a brief hospital stay. Once contracted the condition does have different phases, the beginning phase being the most active while later phases seem to allow for a certain amount of rest. The active phase(s) of MH may include, but are not limited to: lack of sleep, constant running, forgetfulness, a need to gather small objects, declined interest in world events, decreased attention to grooming (i.e: hair cuts, etc.), and a sudden interest in, or awareness of, the dangers of common household items. However, it is inadvisable to get comfortable in the later "rest" periods as an active phase of MH can crop up with little to no warning. It is worth noting that women who have MH will often have daughters who have it as well; the daughter's conception of MH will usually result in a sudden active period for these women - in some cases lasting years.

Unlike every other condition that can afflict a woman MH is the only one that is actively sought after by those who do not have the condition and seems to bring intense joy at the moment of diagnosis. Though a lifelong condition MH is managed without much medical intervention at all. Most women who have MH remain in good spirits and in fact most seem to find continued happiness and comfort in, and from, MH. Though MH does remain with a woman throughout her life it appears that the condition increases her quality of life rather than diminishes it (the very earliest stages of MH being excluded). MH, in short, is not a life ending condition, rather a life altering one; but as many a MH veteran can attest it is not at all an unwelcome diagnosis.

4 comments:

  1. This is such a great post! I can totally tell you are an English girl, schoolwise that is! I am totally having symptoms of BF...so bad! But the MH side effects are scaring me away! I do not know how you do it! Not to mention once I have the MH I will be a working mom and not a SAHM. Kudos for all that you do; the hardest job in the world!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for the accolades, on all fronts. I think being a working mom is harder than staying home, so hats off to you when it's your turn! The side effects of motherhood are completely worth it - and you and Matt will know when it's time. I can't wait for you both to experience the joy of it though, nothing in the world compares. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is so you:)) I love it and can hear your voice as I am reading your blog. MH is the most difficult job I have ever done. I can honestly say I had no idea what I was getting myself into 18 years ago. Thank the Lord for an amazing,devoted husband to share the experience:) I continue to aquire the utmost gratitude towards mom the older my kids get. Each stage of parenting has left me with more compassion of what it means to be a mother. I love you sis <3

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is really cute. I was just watching a commercial about a medicine and then I read this, so it made it even funnier cuz I could see you going through it all, BF, labor, changing diapers, going to the park, graduations, and then being a grandma... Very cute, good job!!

    ReplyDelete